Sunday, October 21, 2012

I've always noticed that

people are shy to share their writing and art. When you hand someone your paper you spent five hours pouring your heart and soul into it, there is implacable stress that comes with. You're nervous, you want them to like it--like you. This is is a part of you, a piece of your soul you've handed them. What is written in their hands is also written on your heart, and sharing something that is of yourself, the essence, is terrifying. Sometimes what you create scares you, so you try to demolish.

When you go through someone else's art or writing or photography, you're seeing something you're not necessarily supposed to see. People are unearthed by their own hands, their creation. It's a sneak peek through a door they're afraid to open. We are so scared about who we are.

I've hated almost everything I've ever written. I've never shown anyone what I've actually enjoyed. What I've made is what I am, it belongs to me. I'm bad at opening up.

But I'm trying to do better, which is the most you can expect out of anyone, really. Working on some more projects, filing through the oldies to see who I was when I wrote this and that. I find it strange to see the kind of person I once was in contrast to who I am. I find it relieving.

It's OK to be scared about sharing your stuff. That's you, that's human. But don't be afraid to write or draw or sing for yourself. I suppose, that while the goal is to have your works known and contributed to the skeptic eyes of people, that in the end the number one person you'll have to answer to is yourself.

Virgil tried to burn his own work. Michelangelo threw away thousands of his own drawings. It's natural to dislike what you've created, the best of them did. But don't you ever stop creating. There is one quote I really enjoy from Kurt Vonnegut:
The arts are not a way of making a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something."
— Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country, 2005 
You will have created something. And what is more beautiful than creation?

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