"You guys are so right! That girl Alana from last night’s Toddlers & Tiaras was saying some pretty wacky things! Where does she get this stuff from? Kids today! [Random quotes generated by the perennial favorite, The Nietzche Family Circus]"--comment by Tumblr user imsosorry.
After cleaning the spurted Pepsi off my keyboard, I went to Google and looked up who she was. And oh man, there was so much more than I could ever imagine I was in for. Honey Boo Boo, christian name Alana Thompson, was released into the wild (also known as TLC) on the show Toddlers & Tiaras last January. If you don't know what T&T is, save yourself while you still can. The premise of the show is that the production team of TLC follows around young girls and their families as they enter and prepare for pageants. Think Little Miss Sunshine only written as a macabre comedy. And who are we kidding--- I'm sure all of you have heard of this show before, and the outlier that is Honey Boo Boo.
And now she has her own show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. But really, why? What makes Honey Boo Boo so noted by the media and society, when the media and society is already at 210% full of bullshit, ignorance, general stupidity, and Jersey Shore? Especially after considering the fact that even The Hollywood Gossip described some of the quotes as nauseating?
Primarily, it's the family itself. Living in the boons of McIntyre, Georgia, 7 year old Alana has her mother, June Shannon--"Mama"; father Mike Thompson, "Sugar Bear"; 17 year old sister Anna (who recently just gave birth to niece Kaitlyn); 12 year old sister Lauryn; and 15 year old sister Jessica, "chubs", to which have all separate fathers. They also have a pet pig named Glitzy.
And now she has her own show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. But really, why? What makes Honey Boo Boo so noted by the media and society, when the media and society is already at 210% full of bullshit, ignorance, general stupidity, and Jersey Shore? Especially after considering the fact that even The Hollywood Gossip described some of the quotes as nauseating?
Primarily, it's the family itself. Living in the boons of McIntyre, Georgia, 7 year old Alana has her mother, June Shannon--"Mama"; father Mike Thompson, "Sugar Bear"; 17 year old sister Anna (who recently just gave birth to niece Kaitlyn); 12 year old sister Lauryn; and 15 year old sister Jessica, "chubs", to which have all separate fathers. They also have a pet pig named Glitzy.
And oh man, where to start. Ok, so Sugar Bear just got in an ATV accident the other day, resulting in crutches. As he puts it, he was "mud-bogging". All of the girls fathers have been convicted in one way or another, from arson to child exploitation. They spend about 10,000 dollars a year on pageants. They participate in the Redneck Olympics, which includes the family-fun game of bobbing for pig's feet.
If that doesn't convince you that their life is absolutely crazy, then let the universe convince you: Alana's new niece, Kaitlyn, was recently born with two extra thumbs. I shit you not, the baby had two extra thumbs. Its that quote about reality being stranger than fiction, recorded on live television. If that isn't a sign I don't know what is.
The media is currently exploding with various opinions of Honey Boo Boo. The hype ranges from careful defendants to explosive rage, like one overzealous writer (who runs the blog People I Want To Punch In the Throat) on the Huff criques: "The language that they speak (I've been told that it's English) is so garbled and fucked up they need subtitles just so you can understand when Honey Boo Boo's pregnant sister tells the world she needs to go to the hospital because her "biscuit" hurts or Honey Boo Boo tells you "A dollar makes me holler."
Speaking of which, Honey Boo Boo, is ridiculously easy to quote: "A dollar makes me holler, honey boo boo!", and "You better redneckgonize!" are just two that I can mention without feeling the cell count in my brain drop.
And the thing is, people love this. They are drinking this stuff up faster and harder than Alana's infamous "Go-go" juice (Which, by the way, was such a volatile concoction that even Child Services had commented on it, along with the whole thing about them eating roadkill and consuming too many cheese puffs. Also, the reason they were even involved? Alana was caught on video dancing for dollars in a college bar. "Not a sleazy one," according to June. Full article here. And that's not even counting the recent trouble with Lauryn feeding Kaitlyn mountain dew with a pacifier.)
But continuing. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo's ratings topped RNC's last August. They were featured in People this summer, and the rating's have skyrocketed since then. Cracked does a nice job covering on how Honey Boo Boo has redeemed reality TV--their number one reason? "Bringing Back Reality." And really---what's more real than eating roadkill and talking about your bowl movements with the people you love?
Anyway, if you still haven't got your fix of enough Honey Boo Boo Child---here, I've got you covered.
But continuing. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo's ratings topped RNC's last August. They were featured in People this summer, and the rating's have skyrocketed since then. Cracked does a nice job covering on how Honey Boo Boo has redeemed reality TV--their number one reason? "Bringing Back Reality." And really---what's more real than eating roadkill and talking about your bowl movements with the people you love?
Anyway, if you still haven't got your fix of enough Honey Boo Boo Child---here, I've got you covered.
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