Why can't I just sleep?

"When I'm not working, I definitely I like waking up at noon.Jena Malone "

"Lose an hour in the morning, and you will be all day hunting for it". ~Richard Whately

"I like my coffee black and my mornings bright." ~Terri Guillemets

It's almost 11 as I write this. Why can't I just sleep. I mean, even Kids Health says I need 8 and half to nine hours of sleep, not the weak and terrible number seven hours of sleep. Teenagers are at the age where they need to be healthier more than ever, because that's when they're growing up, that's when their brains and bodies are getting to their prime. Which is actually kind of depressing, when you think about it, because what the ever loving crap this is supposed to be my prime? Dude I look like the love child of Uncle Fester from the Adam's family and Debby Ryan who plays, haha, Bailey in the Suite of Life of Zack and Cody damn. 
Anyways it's finals and I just cannot focus anymore. I've studied for like six hours on math alone, man. It's too much. I still need to start on my Spanish, but I'm worse at math so I need assistance there more than I do here. But on the bright side, MY DAD CLEANED OFF THE NASTY BANANA STUFF OFF MY CALCULATOR AND my mom got me new batteries so now I have my own calculator that actually works!! Woohoo. So that's my life.
Ok, I will try to go to sleep now. Wish me the best of luck. I will update this in the morning.

UPDATE:

Oh my freakin' god I didn't pass out til one it was too much. I think part of the problem was that I drank so much freaking DR. PEPPER at dinner and so my legs were all shaky when I went to bed and wow that was just not a very good idea. This lack of good ideas in my life is actually a disturbing trend I've noticed in my life so far and it kind of needs to stop because it sucks and I hate it.

How the hell do you do matrixes for math, anyway?

I stilll need to study for Spanish. I woke up at 5:00 first. Then 5:30. Then I said, screw it screw screw it and fell asleep, only to wake up forty five minutes later.

A favorite character

I'm obsessed with TV and reading. It's terrible. I get characters stuck in my head, and they won't leave. Anyways, I was planning on writing about this for a long time coming, but I also need lots of blog posts, so I'm going to write about some of my favorite characters!! And by that I mean one!!! I actually have a lot more, but these are the ones that are dear to my heart as of right now, and possibly forever.

Dean Winchester, Supernatural

MY BABY.

Ok, so the basics: Supernatural is a tv show on CW about two brothers who run the family business: saving people, hunting things. Supernatural things, from ghosts, ghouls, to demons and angels. AND DESPITE THE TERRIBLENESS OF SEASON 6 AND 7 THIS SHOW WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL AND CRUSH IT IN TWO BUT YOU DON'T STOP WATCHING IT BECAUSE THEIR YOUR CHILDREN.

Anyways Dean is the oldest brother who practically raised his brother Sam. He's gone threw a crapton of angst, is an alcoholic, isn't as funny as he thinks he is, and his general outlook on life has really gone down these past few seasons, especially after he went to hell, which is like his major arc. Anyways DEAN IS MY FAVORITE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BECAUSE OF REASONS. He's so messed up and he gets angry at everything and screams and drinks and is pretty much a full blown serial killer at this point but then he says things like, "Destiny? Don't gimme that holy crap. Destiny, God's plan, it's all a bunch of lies, you poor stupid sonofabitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People. Families. That's real. And you're gonna watch 'em all burn?" Even when he's hit point zero his deep and profound love for his family beats satan and saves the world. aND HE'S A DORK TOO always quoting vonnegut and reality tv shows and wow he is just so precious and he's such a mother and a mommy's boy (even though his mom died!! :( !! sad)and I just have a lot of feelings because he's so complex and I'm really not good at explaining his complexities because you have to watch the show and I could write my doctoral thesis on the character that is Dean Winchester.

I mean just look at him he's so precious

~cutie pie~

and he hoLDS BABIES (>>>>hands)

What I'm not obsessed.

Some feminist quotes

Really inspirational!!! Quotes from here.

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes." ~Clare Boothe Luce

The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl." ~Shirley Chisholm

Women belong in the house... and the Senate. ~Author Unknown

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. ~Faith Whittlesey

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage. ~Author Unknown

I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament. ~Alanis Morissette, quoted in Reader's Digest, March 2000

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~Madonna Ciccone

You don't have to be anti-man to be pro-woman. ~Jane Galvin Lewis

When I see the elaborate study and ingenuity displayed by women in the pursuit of trifles, I feel no doubt of their capacity for the most herculean undertakings. ~Julia Ward Howe

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. ~Lois Wyse

No woman is required to build the world by destroying herself. ~Rabbi Sofer

The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes. ~Bella Abzug

Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men - bring them softness, teach them how to cry. ~Joan Baez, "Sexism Seen but not Heard," Los Angeles Times, 1974

I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing. ~Gloria Steinem

A man has every season while a woman only has the right to spring. ~Jane Fonda

How good does a female athlete have to be before we just call her an athlete? ~Author Unknown

The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source. ~Lucretia Mott

To tell a woman everything she may not do is to tell her what she can do. ~Spanish Proverb

Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human. ~Robin Morgan

Men will often admit other women are oppressed but not you. ~Sheila Rowbotham

Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. ~Margaret Mead

I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns. ~Elizabeth Cady Stanton, "Our Girls"

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. ~Gloria Steinem

Several men I can think of are as capable, as smart, as funny, as compassionate, and as confused - as remarkable you might say - as most women. ~Jane Howard

Not only is women's work never done, the definition keeps changing. ~Bill Copeland

Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill. ~Betty Friedan

Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object. The difference is that is not all she wants to be. ~Betty Rollin

When two people marry they become in the eyes of the law one person, and that one person is the husband. ~Shana Alexander, State-by-State Guide to Women's Legal Rights, 1975

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile? ~Lynn Hecht Schafren

Easy is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. ~Nancy Linn-Desmond

It starts when you sink in his arms and ends with your arms in his sink. ~Author Unknown

No one should have to dance backward all of their lives. ~Jill Ruckelshaus

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. ~Maureen Murphy

We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

Kid Food

I used to eat the nastiest crap as a kid. Like, you know how when you're really little, you'll experiment with just about anything, as long as you're the one making it? That was me. That was all of us.

God, let me tell you the horror stories.

For one thing, my siblings and I all used to eat this horrible confection of croutons, ranch, and cheese. We'd put them on a giant plate together and separate them into three little sections. Then, we'd take our croutons, dip them in the ranch, and then the cheese so it would stick. And eat it. We used to eat so much of it and oh my god it smelled so bad. At the time, I thought it was the greatest shit ever. But holy sweet mother of god, once I got older and stopped eating it, it made me want to gag. Especially since we were all really little when we used to do make it, so all my sibling's breath used to smell HORRIBLE, lol.

My cousin, KJ, and I used to eat nasty stuff all the time together. I remember one time, when we were about either 11 or 12, she was on this medicine that used to give her weird cravings at weird times. Once when we were at our grandmother's house, she made me eat one of her testings. It was like this mix of a crunch bar which she melted pepperoni on the top of in the microwave. It tasted so bad. The pepperoni juice had melted into the chocolate, and it made me feel like my stomach had flipped from top to bottom.

Another thing we made up when we were younger was Poor People's Pizza. The secret recipe was:
1) take one plastic plate
2) Put a flour tortilla on top
3) start pouring tomato sauce on it. or salsa
4) put as much shredded cheese on it as you possibly can
5) then pepperonis
6) microwave it until however long it takes for the cheese to melt and for the plate to meld into the tortilla to enjoy the carcinogenic goodness.

Even with these failures/ possibly cancerous successes, we actually did make some damn good nachos. We'd take doritos, melt cheese on them, and than dip them in salsa. If you're starting to sense a trend, you're completely right: our diets really did consist of melted cheese and whatever sauce would be slathered with it.

So this has been my food blog post, in appreciation of Christina's wonderful food blog. Can't wait for cupcakes Thursday!

Feminism v Women's Rights

“Equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it. We need equality. Kinda now.”
― Joss Whedon

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.”
― Rebecca West
(^^Good Quotes)

This is a short post on a much longer thought process I have on this.

While they are the same thing, there seems to be much more negative connotations to the word "feminist" to "feminism" than there is to "women's rights". The word feminism has history, nuances, and different ideologies and movements associated with it. Saying women's rights is usually a lot more direct, and it usually tends not to distract from whatever the woman/feminist is going to say next. Both men and women who don't want to hear someone talk about the issues of women will instantly be skeptical, mocking, and close-minded when the word feminism or feminist is attached to it. Some men and women will still scoff if they see the word women's rights to an article. And really, there's not much you can do.

Also, a lot of people don't seem to realize that there are different types of feminism, which is another reason that there is so many people cut off from it. Women's rights is a universal term for our issues; feminism comes in 32 flavors. Radfems, liberal feminists, cultural, conservative, socialist, ecofeminists. It's incredibly complex---and somewhat vicious. It actually kind of makes me sad. Instead of forming a united front and trying to actually achieve rights for women, we tend to get stuck arguing with each other on what it just means to be a feminist, what other people are saying are feminists, arguing our ideas all day to people who, at the end of the day, may not even care.

I write about women's rights because it's important to me. I defend my ideas, I critique others. Words are powerful, and ideas don't die. But I want to move my ideas into action. I want to actually help other women who may not have gotten help while everyone is caught up on the word feminism---both for and against.

To clarify, I'm by no means saying that everyone is like this. But it's important to understand not just what the

word feminism means, but what other people---incorrectly or not--think it means.

Feminazi

Feminazi:
"Feminazi is a term popularized by radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh and in use since the early 1990s. It is a portmanteau of the nouns feminist and Nazi. The online version of the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the term as used in a "usually disparaging" manner, to describe "an extreme or militant feminist". The term is used pejorativelyby some U.S. conservatives to criticize feminists that they perceive as extreme."

I really hate this word. Almost anyone who uses it? Uses it only to discredit feminism/women if they're discussing their rights in a manner that doesn't please them. Feminazi is an insulting way to instantly discredit anything a woman has to say next. It requires no skill to use, and a woman doesn't actually have to be a feminist to suddenly be termed a feminazi. If you're a woman, and you're speaking your mind, you are automatically a feminazi.

A lot of people tend to use this term for misandrists (women who hate men). What do we call men who hate women and try to police their rights? Usually, something along the lines of Mr. Senator or Father. The truth is, men controlling women don't have a derogatory term that can be applied to them---that's because if a man who acts hateful of the opposite sex, that's normal.

Remember when I wrote about the Nice Guys? They're huge on this. They tend to think their entitled on calling a woman a bitch or a slut or a girl who only dates douchebags if they don't agree or try to have a romantic/sexual relationship with the supposed "nice guy". Their misunderstood! They just want a nice girl to love! Well, the first start to loving a woman, hun, is to start treating her like one. Not some lifeless piece of cardboard that's there to please you and suck your cock. Trust me, I know those ones. For men who are surprised by this (which I highly doubt you are, given), don't be. Women have to put up with this shit all the time. Woman is a human being, same as you, and she has the rights to her choices on her body and mind. If she doesn't want to have a relationship or sex with you, don't be mad. If you do get mad, then this is probably a sign that you are exactly the problem I am talking about.

So stop using the word feminazi to a woman who voices their rights, and maybe start listening to what they have to say before you try to shut off their ideas from you with one word.

Upcoming

OK, so I really don't have a lot of time for the in-depth blog posts that I love to do. That's why I'm going to outline what I will do, or have started, or am working on, because if I tell you it might motivate me to actually write them. Also, I am so friggin' desperate for enough blog posts tonight, it's not even funny. My hands are susceptible to fall off by the end of the night after all the shit I'm gonna have to type up. Sorry, paper blog babies, but this blog is actually graded, and a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I'm currently working on a couple of different pieces. One has to do with education in America and the current cynicism on the real worth of academic success, and how this cynicism is effecting the career choices and school effort teens are putting into their education today. This one's gonna be longggggg. I'm excited for it. I want to have lots of different sources for it, like economics professors and sociology professors brought in to talk about it. As a teen, this issue is super important to me---and I think it would be important to parents, too. People are concerned, more now than ever, about their future. I think it was about 53% of all college grads can't live on their own after college, now? I can't remember the exact fact, so don't quote me on that.

The next is a piece about stalking. As someone who has been stalked before, I can really relate to this piece. Stalking is a huge and incredibly serious problem. And it's fucking scary, too. The number of women I know who have been stalked or been monitored by other men--like they own them, or want to possess them, like they'e not a human being with the right to exercise their own choices---is terrifying. Unfortunately, I have far too many sources I could write about in this issue. Mostly I'm going to focus on personal accounts, why men act the way they do, the difference in male and female stalkers and how society views and treats them, what can be done to resolve the issue, and how we address it to men who don't take it seriously. Security and safety are the main thing to address as a human right--and when stalkers do what stalkers do, they rip that away from women. So yeah, it needs to be wrote about. Because their is a tremendous silence, I feel, on this issue. That, or it's simply mocked at.

So that's what is upcoming!

The War On Men

Remember how I earlier I talked about researching for that essay I was working on? Well, I did a lot of research. And during my research, I managed to stumble upon the work of Suzanne Venker, author of 7 Myths of Working Mothers, How to Choose A Husband, The Flipside of Feminism, and her articles called "The War on Men" and "To be happy, we must admit women and men aren't 'equal". To be honest, I had never heard of her before I found her articles online, and when I first read her articles I read them completely unbiased (It wasn't until I was done reading until I realized I was on FOX). I read "The War on Men" first, and when I was done, I was pretty uncomfortable---and not in the way that something that's true and gets to the root of the problem but you don't want to face it because it's too painful is true, but in the way  of watching someone make a fool of themselves is---- plainly speaking, I suffered extreme second-hand embarrassment after reading Venker's article.

Here, let the article speak for itself.

"In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs. Now the men have nowhere to go."

What? Is she implying that women being successful and independent is bad for men? Take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs. Who says it can't be rightfully ours? Are men the only ones entitled to being successful? And what is this about having our 'own' pedestal? As if success for a woman means not infringing on the success of a man?

Ugh, I can't decide what else is a good quote---so I'll just post the rest because there is so damn much too say on this.

"Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them."

Oh, lord. Sweeping generalizations about men and women is prevalent throughout the whole thing. Be warned: through the whole article, Venker continues to reinforce detrimental stereotypes of what women and men should want, claiming that they are a "good" thing.

It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.
It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.

So if men today are slackers, and if they’re retreating from marriage en masse, women should look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they’ve played to bring about this transformation.
Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature – their femininity – and let men surrender to theirs.
If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork."

I am so sorry, Paperblog and readers. I will come back to this as soon as I am not swamped with finals with a presentable argument.

Fairness

If you read my last post with Olivia's scientific magnum opus, then you must surely understand that as her sister, I have a desperate need to prove myself of some worth in the light of her shining achievement. So, in what I believe is called "fairness", I have decided to post one of my own greater works---a piece on journalistic history that I had written for my Journalism class as a young freshmen, in hopes to impress my adviser  GL, and prove my worthiness and readiness to join the ranks of the real school newspaper. If you have any interest in publication of what is clearly a masterpiece from a fourteen year old's brain, please email me or contact or leave a message and I'll have my people call your people. And now...

Journalism History

by bailey

The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved is the first appearance of what the world calls “gonzo” journalism, a hastily thrown together style by the legendary Hunter S. Thompson. According to the student Encarta, gonzo journalism is a style characterized by first-person narrative, high subjectivity, and more of the journalists' personal experiences than the actual event. In his book The Great Shark Hunt: Strange Tales from a Strange Time (page 106), Thompson’s own words on gonzo journalism are:
 'Gonzo journalism is a style of reporting based on William Faulkner's idea that the best fiction is far more true than any kind of journalism - and the best journalists have always known this. Which is not to say that fiction is necessarily 'more true' than journalism - or vice versa - but that both 'fiction' and 'journalism' are artificial categories; and that both forms, at their best, are only two different means to the same end.'So how did this unorthodox style come about? According to The Great Shark Hunt: Strange Tales from a Strange Time, as Thompson's deadline for the coverage of the 1970 Kentucky Derby approached for Scanlan's Monthly, Thompson became desperate. He started to rip out pages from his notebook, numbering them, and sending them to his editor. By doing so, he created a whole new form of literary expression, which ultimately became his trademark.
Gonzo journalism has lived on by evolving and adapting to modern technology- specifically, blogging. A blog is a site where a person can post anything- news, opinions, and personal accounts- unedited, raw, and straight to the point. Blogging is a way for many people to tell their stories they way they see it. Much of blogging is based on current events and personal experiences- just like gonzo. The style is not only a modern trend, but now mass media via internet- you can find thousands of blogs devoted to just one or all subjects.
Gonzo journalism is just one example of how journalism can never truly die- instead it will adapt, evolve, and continue on informing the public as long as there is a story.

Please Enjoy

Please enjoy this scientific masterpiece, "The Digestion of a Strawberry", that I found while perusing old word documents on the document file on our computer. This educational wisdom has been passed unto the world by my sister, Olivia, who delved into the deep and mysterious inner workings of our bodies in sixth grade, and produced this document as an assignment for her Science class. As you will see, my sister clearly surpassed all expectations given and really set the standards for all upcoming eleven year children. None of the original document has been edited, in efforts to keep with the originality and voice of our young Elizabeth Blackwell. Please note the special capitalization the writer has put into this piece---if a word is capitalized, that means it is crucial to the process taken place within the article. Olivia breaks literary boundaries with her complex use of tenses and narrative, but when have geniuses, indeed, ever needed boundaries? The quality of this was definitely already proven when we learned, upon receiving the paper back after grading, that she had indeed earned an 'A'. As fully deserved. With this preamble, I now proudly present to you, the people, enlightenment. 

Digestion of a Strawberry.

by olivia

When I took the bite of the strawberry both chemical and mechanical breakdown began. Mechanical chews, and smashes the food against the roof of my mouth, chemical brakes the smashed bits of food into smaller pieces with chemicals like saliva.
The broken up food goes down the esophagus, through the sphincter muscle, and into the stomach. The stomach stores the food already eaten and mechanical and chemical breakdown take the food and turn it into a liquid, the liquid then goes into the small intestine.
The small intestine breaks it down even more to soak up the nutrients so my body can absorb the vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates (carbs), and fats all with the help of the gall bladder, liver, and pancreas. The pancreas releases a liquid that will neutralize acid and digest proteins and fat, the Liver produces bile that allows nutrients to get to the bloodstream and removes toxins, and the Gall Bladder holds bile until my body needs it.
It goes through the Large Intestine. The Large Intestine prevents harmful bacteria from staying around. The broken down food travels through the Large Intestine to the Rectum and after a while out of the Anus.

Let's Not Kill Feminism

I recently read an article on the Canada Free Press (CFP) titled "Feminism is hateful & hated. Let's kill it!" by the conservative Kelly O'Connell. The point of the article was to argue against feminism and explain how it was bad through its historical growth and how it has effected the dynamic between men and women. Connell is a women who encourages patriarchy. The whole thing left me with one massive headache. This is a quote that sums up the end of her argument. Read it and see what I mean.

"The answer to the question—“If the Women’s Movement is Dense, Obnoxious & Contradictory, Why Does it Persist?”: is—Because we let it. America is in desperate need to revive its respect for men, fatherhood, polite society and masculine-based religion. This can only happen when men themselves stand up for their dignity and demand a return to roles as leaders in politics, religion, family and society. Until this happens, expect women to walk all over wimpy men until confronted by real men."

Throughout the whole article she talks about how disrespectful women now are to men and how feminism inspires women to be lesbians and how men need to step up to take back their place. It was a painful read, but at least it provided me some insight to how people who oppose feminism think. And that insight is horrifying.

Women who oppose feminism somewhat horrify me. Feminism, at its basics, is about rights of every kind for women. While there are different groups and movements and degrees at feminism, to say you disregard feminism as whole because you actually disagree with one part----like men who discredit feminism because of the radfem movement---is so, so, so detrimental to women.

I feel like a lot of people who dislike feminism or women's rights movements have never had to deal with issues that many women specifically or usually deal with, and I'm not talking just about periods are finding the right size of bra. Like the issues of having to be wary of walking alone at night, or facing sexual harassment at work from clients or co-workers. Feminism helps deal with those problems, either by educating people about them or providing help for women who need it.

Feminists, are, at the core, people who care about women. For example, Planned Parenthood is a huge advocate about sexual and reproductive health care, and they primarily deal with women. A lot of people hate it because of abortions and birth control---but I doubt that any of those people who disagree with it have ever been placed in a situation where having access to such is critical.  PP helps with women who are in those situations, and that can mean the world to these women. That's feminism: helping women who can't get help in a world where feminism is told that it doesn't matter. Where women don't matter.

Still, people are going to laugh and mock. You can look at that in three ways: horrible, because they don't think women need their rights or have already "attained" them; good, because that means they've never been in a personal situation where they've had to deal with violence or injustice towards women; or just plain evil, where they want to rip women down because they think it's their right as a man. Some may think that's just ridiculous, but they are really men who think that way. And there are women who have to live with those men.

So let's not kill feminism. Because if we kill it? Women go down, too.

Teen Stress

I'm screwed, I'm screwed, I'm screwed. 

I literally have no free time left. At all. At all. At all.

Besides the 13000+ blogs I need to make up, I also have like, a week's worth of AP US HW I need to complete, the AP US test I need to start studying for, the math test  I need to study for tomorrow (I can't do math), the oral final in Spanish I have to study for tomorrow, the two science quizzes I have to make up, the science packet I have to do, the six hours of volunteering for my application for National Honor Society, the IGNITE powerpoint thing I have to do, the three scholarships I have to apply for (financially, it's not an option not to apply anymore), the extra credit opportunities I need to take just to get my GPA into something  that could get me into college, and the 20 freaking hour weeks I work in between school and driving people and feeding myself and sometimes showering or simply sleeping and talking to other human beings and convincing them not to hate me and it's all rounding up to be all in the same week, lsdsdlfkalkfd fuck. 

I know I'm whining. I know that a lot of other kids are way more busy and have a lot more stress to deal with. I'm not the only one. So let's talk about the facts.

In article by Sue Scheff, from the Examiner, "Teens and high school stress: 15 facts parents should know", Scheff gives a variety of facts (from other news sources, so there is a actually a multitude of different sources collected into this one article, so I'm counting this as enough for me). Such as:

"It starts much earlier than high school: Increased college competition means increased high school competition. Increased high school competition means increased middle school competition. Increased middle school competition means increased elementary school competition. Once students get to the last four compulsory grades, the pressure to constantly excel and perform has already been shoved into their growing bodies. So when kids do succumb to the pressures, chances are they may very well have been lurking beneath the surface long before freshman year.
Female students feel it harder than their male peers: A survey conducted by the Associated Press and MTV discovered that of the 85% of students claiming they experienced "stress at least sometimes" (if not more than that), most were female. Forty-five percent reported they felt it "frequently," compared to 32% of their male colleagues. Most disconcertingly, the trend seemed to reflect an increase in stress and anxiety levels when compared to surveys from the year before — at least 10 points higher, says MSNBC. Interestingly enough, students hailing from mid-range income families experienced far more pressure than those from low- or high-income ones.
Girls are more likely to suppress their stress: Not only are female students more likely to experience hefty amounts of stress, they also typically handle it more discreetly than males. However, the boys don't always handle it healthily, either — according to Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler, they typically react to the anxieties by dropping out mentally. Social pressures push girls towards constant perfection in school, extracurriculars, appearances, relationships and friendships without ever growing ragged or showing signs of exhaustion (what sociologist Michael Kimmel refers to as "effortlessly perfect"). In fact, 55% told the psychologist they place almost unnecessary amounts of stress on themselves to maintain society's near-impossible expectations of flawlessness.
School ranks as the highest stressor in high school students' lives: For both females and males between the ages of 13 and 17, school stood as their primary conduit of super stress. Once they hit the 18-to-25-year-old demographic, work supplants academics. But high schoolers face down more anxieties than that, including (but not limited to) bullying, broken homes, substance abuse (or the temptation towards substance abuse), relationships and sex, jobs, extracurricular activities, appearances and more. Girls and young women in particular find themselves petrified for safety reasons at a higher rate than their male counterparts, as they're more likely to be the victims of rape and sexual assault.
GPAs are increasing: In California, at least, where state schools saw a significant rise in the GPAs of incoming freshman between 2003 and 2009. Petaluma360.com's Colleen Rustad noted that UC Davis transitioned from a 3.86 to a 4.0 average, and Berkeley witnessed an increase from 3.58 to 3.61. So while some modicum of positivity can be squeezed out of the overworked teenagers' plight, the serious mental and physical health tolls often render them a rather Pyrrhic victory instead.
Parents can exacerbate the situation…: Even the most well-meaning, loving moms and dads (or grandparents or aunts or uncles or legal guardians) run the risk of contributing to Little Junior or Muffy's ever-mounting anxiety. Although parents and guardians should encourage and support their kids' academic and (within reason) personal goals, they should stay alert for signs of burnout as well. Success (ethically earned, of course) is always great, but should never take precedence over the health, safety and overall well-being of a student, either. The likelihood of entering an Ivy League university even with a perfect record sits between 7% and 18%, and there's no shame in pointing kids toward more affordable — and still thoroughly viable — options requiring less strenuous high schooling."

And personally, I've seen a lot of these statistics in ones who make these statistics in the real world. Not just in teens, but in young adults who go to college. Everyone is working their ass off. It is so, so hard to get anywhere, because there is always a hundred other people trying to get to the same spot---and in this age, only one gets it. It's mentally and emotionally depleting and there's always more to do.

The other I was sitting in my AP US class and there were these two girls talking about the project coming up due in a week. One girl had already finished it the night before, because--"I was so bored last night and I had nothing to do, so I just did it."



WHOOOO DIDDDD YOUUUUU KIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL?!??!?!?!?

Seriously, how?! How did this one random girl in my class defeat the odds?! I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. She's always well-dressed and brushes her hair. But it kind of makes me internally scream because I'm literally drowning in all the crap I have to do and the only time I get to let all my stress out is when I rant on my blog, my intricate version of angry tweets saying things like "FML" and " I try so hard and no one even cares xxx". So I suppose I really am an attention whore, too, just more subtle. Which is just another thing to add on to my list of things that are stressful: my shitty, shitty, personality.

So earlier this week

I was at the mall (not work) when this group of teenagers came in, loud and obnoxious, lookin' like they'd just crawled out of the clearance rack out of Hot Topic. There was about two or three short girls and then this one dude, not much taller than the rest, whom one of the girls clung on to like she was about to drown. They were probably in middle school, so I had no idea why they were at the store at like 9 a clock at night, but their conversation pretty much went something like this (or the best I can remember):

"If I'm a faggot, then you're a female lesbian!"
"No, you're a female lesbian!"
*Roaring, squeaky laughter*



Man, and this kept going on and on. They walked away, but I could still hear them yelling out the homophobic slurs. They walked past twice, and then sweet baby sugar face Jesus, finally disappeared.

Is this like a stage everyone in middle school has to get through? I remember being that stupid, unfortunately. But saying that, does this mean that it was all fine and well for them to be running around the store, screaming like that? No. So part of me wonders if it's just a lack of education, or understanding on their part. Or maybe it's just a lack of caring....they certainly didn't care about their hygiene.

To be fair, high school is not much better sometimes. I'm lucky because I'm old enough to get into more advanced classes so I'm not stuck with people with often lesser propriety, and my social group is pretty small, but fantastic and accepting and intelligent. Certainly have enough sensitivity and tact to at least keep bigotry to themselves, in any case.

But sometimes I still find the assholes. I see boys---jocks, mostly--- run around, yelling homophobic slurs, hitting on each other, pretending to be gay, all in the name of teasing each other, having fun. That wouldn't bother me as much as it does if there wasn't so much condescension in their voices as they do. Like it's a bad thing, like it's wrong, unmanly, unnatural.

Girls do it too---we side-eye other women who don't wear makeup or don't wear the right clothes, warily giving them cold-shoulders because the common misconception/theory that if a girl doesn't wear makeup or chooses not to dress up everyday, she must be a lesbian. Actually, no---the only thing that makes a lesbian a lesbian is a girl who is sexually & romantically into other girls. Some girls don't wear makeup because they don't have time, or they like themselves enough not to, or they simply don't want to. I didn't wear make up for the longest time, actually, because it embarrassed me. I didn't feel pretty enough to wear it, as absurd as that is. I felt like a clown with face paint---and I'm pretty sure there were days where I looked like one, too.

Lesson is? Think before you speak....and use deodorant.

Poetry

"My hobbies include
Editing my life story
Hiding behind metaphors
And trying to convince my shadow
That I’m someone worth following”

----Rudy Franscisco, from "My Honest Poem"

Ok, in clarification that I don't view myself as any special snowflake or anything for quoting generally obscure  poetry, and the fact that I'm going to talk about some of my favorites---but in all honesty, I really do enjoy poetry. I'm picky and to be honest, half the time I don't understand what I'm reading or don't understand it until later, but I think it's beautiful and sharp and poignant. At least, the ones that have meaning to me on a deep and personal level.

The thing about poetry is that everyone has their own interpretation and experience with a poem. That it can mean one thing or many to one person and be seen as an entirely different portrayal by another is one of my favorite things about the complexity and craft of poetry; and that I have read poems that have given me goosebumps by the honesty in them, or by reducing me into tears because sometimes reading them can be painful and true, is another. 

I wouldn't consider myself a snob in poetry, simply because I haven't read enough or studied it enough to know everything. I like what I like; I appreciate what I can; and I criticize as fairly as I can. My tastes can be somewhat generic, perhaps---I love Cummings and Plath, Crane and Poe; Hughes, Shakespeare, Eliot, Silverstein, Frost. 

I also really love listening to spoken. Sarah Kay, Dana Gilmore, Shira Erlichman, Kai Davis, Camonghne Felix, Yani Mo. Alllll women, interestingly enough.

Anyway, let me share some of my favorites so I can get enough words!
Nostalgia - Alberto Blanco

There is the sky. Now I can see it.

There is the open sky
waiting for the best I can give.

Left behind are parents,
friends, givers of advice...

The dream toys of childhood,
the tree of desire,
night in the depths of the pool,
the park that witnessed our first kiss...

I see it all in the distance
like a body that awakens
in a remote part of the landscape.
I look at it as if it were false.

We have arrived at life
by saying farewell to everything we've loved,
to that which was given,
to all those we love.

But there, at this moment, is the sky.

The World Does Not Belong to You, Though You Belong to the World,

for this is not a marriage,
living. Only you have
given your hand and
climbed into the carriage
of Morning. Where do you
think you’re going? Morning
owes you nothing. She is

fickle, she is strong. Only
to Morning does Morning
belong. As she takes you
into the day, onto the old
wide way of the world, she
sings so intimate a song you
may begin to believe she

loves you. You may even
come to believe you somehow
guide her along sometimes,
but you are wrong.
You think you are a pitcher
taking the mound, but it’s
the other way around.

—Todd Boss, from yellowrocket: Poems (W. W. Norton & Co., 2008)

Gender

IS FRIGGIN' COMPLEX.

No matter which way you look at it----whether in terms of deconstructing social norms, self-identity, roles, spirituality, sexuality, culturally, religiously, psychologically, emotionally, physically---- when you start digging deep, discussing and studying gender can become quite the heave.


For example, if you're going by the traditional western standard that there are only two specific genders---male, and female--- even then, discussions on gender can be a headache. Because even when you're dividing gender into two separate categories (and assuming that both genders are in relation to the sex they are born to), there is still controversy and unending opinions on both genders that both men and women are always contemplating, even if they're not exactly viewing their thought processes in terms of gender studies---but still, there it is.


Like, what's the difference between men and women? To what extent does your gender have in effecting your experiences, interpretations of experiences and events, and choices? What does it mean to be a man and woman? And for each sex, by guidelines should we govern ourselves? What is the proper etiquette and norms for each gender, and how should we treat those who don't define or respond to those boundaries? Is it still important to be a lady or a gentlemen? Is chivalry dead? Can we now punch girls? What do we consider properties of masculinity, and is brutality still a trait in association with such terms? What is right for one gender, and wrong for the other?


And everyone does this everyday. Adages and metaphors on men and women or stupid, sexist quotes like the Lock and Key example are just some of the many ways we try to define gender in our culture. And that's just the traditional western views on genders---in many eastern cultures, there are many different recognized genders. Here's a good post to help you learn more:





"Going beyond the Western gender binary - unlearning our backward cultural conditioning

In Western colonial society (which dominates many aspects of the globalized, capitalist world today) we operate under the presumption that there are only two genders, male and female. But gender is a social construction. One’s options for what gender they identify with are shaped by the culture they are born into. Biological factors are most-often the primary driving forces that choose among the available socially-constructed gender categories.

Cultures around the world have different ways of talking about, thinking about, and identifying gender. It’s often a challenge for (particularly cis-sexual) Westerns to think about other ways gender can be socially constructed. Westerns have the false equivalency of gender and sex drilled into their eternal psyche from the time they are very young, and re-enforced through examples popular culture. There is no biological reality to gender. Many Westerners have the bizarre belief that one’s XY-sex-determination should also inform one’s gender identity, a socially constructed role in society.

In some cultures, there is no distinction made between gender and sexual orientation and the same can be said for sexual orientation - our culture socially-constructs the options and our biology helps us identify which socially-constructed option feels most ‘right’ and best resonates with us.

I’ve attached some photos to offer some examples of non-colonial, non-Western construction of gender. They’ve all been uploaded onto our Facebook page photostream in case you’d like to ‘like’ or ‘share’ them there. There are literally hundreds of ‘third-gender’ identifying peoples around the world. The eight I’ve chosen are mostly examples I remember from some of my anthropology courses but if you google ‘third genders’ you can find many lists and examples.

Who cares? Why it matters.

The most obvious reason to care about the way our culture has constructed gender and sexual orientation is to deepen one’s capacity for solidarity with people who identify as transgender, transsexual, and others whose gender or sexual identity exists outside of binary Western culture.

But there are other reasons as well. Western culture’s binary nature often creates non-sensical, problematic binary identity constructions that are inherently problematic. For example, I believe that Western masculinity (dominance, aggression, lack of communication, lack of emotional expression, etc) is inherently problematic. I believe that to be the reason why most acts of large-scale-violence and terror are committed by men (see: 100% of the mass school shootings in the United States), and I believe it fosters a degree of internal misery within people who heavily adopt these particular ‘masculine’ traits.

In the age of information, and the age of global connectivity, there is no longer any reason (particularly for young people) to feel isolated or restricted to Western definitions of gender, sexual orientation and identity in general. I think the social ramifications of a generation where more and more people begin to identify outside of the gender binary would be tremendous, and I think we should all consider how we can unlearn our cultural conditioning to embrace other, perhaps less exploitative and dominating identities.

Background information on the identities depicted in the above images:

Hijras:

Hijras are male-body-born, feminine-gender-identifying people who live in South Asia (mostly in India & Nepal). Many Hijras live in well-defined, organized, all-Hijra communities, led by a guru.

Although many Hijras identify as Muslim, many practice a form of syncretism that draws on multiple religions; seeing themselves to be neither men nor women, Hijras practice rituals for both men and women.

Hijras belong to a special caste. They are usually devotees of the mother goddess Bahuchara Mata, Lord Shiva, or both.

Nandi female husbands:

Among the Nandi in Western Kenya, one social identity option for women is to become a female husband, and thus a man in society’s eyes. Female husbands are expected to become men and take on all of the social and cultural responsibilities of a man, including finding a wife to marry and passing on property to the next generation through marriage. Female husbands may have lived their lives as women and may even be married to a man, but once she becomes a female-husband, she is expected to be a man. Women married to female-husbands may have sex with single men uninterested in commitment in order to become pregnant, but the female-husband (who is often an older woman, often a widow) will father the child of said pregnancy and treat the child like her own.

Two-spirited people

Two-Spirit is an umbrella term sometimes used for what was once commonly known as ‘berdaches’, Indigenous North Americans who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many Native Americans and Canadian First Nations communities. The term usually indicates a person whose body simultaneously manifests both a masculine and a feminine spirit. Male and female two-spirits have been “documented in over 130 tribes, in every region of North America.”

TravestiIn South America (with a large presence in Brazil), a travesti is a person who was assigned male at birth who has a feminine gender identity and is primarily sexually attracted to masculine men. Therefore, sometimes the distinction between gender identity and sexual orientation is not made. Travestis have been described as a third gender, but not all see themselves this way.Travestis often will begin taking female hormones and injecting silicone to enlargen their backsides as boys and continue the process into womanhood.

The work of cultural Anthropologist Don Kulick (a gay male by Western definitions) in Brazil demonstrated that gender construction in Brazil is binary (like Western gender construction), but unlike Western gender construction, instead of having a male-female binary, there is a male-notmale.

In this particular construction of gender:
Males include: men who have sex with women, men who have sex with Travestis but are never on the receiving end of anal sex, men who have sex with men but are never on the receiving end of anal sex.
Not-males include: women, men who receive anal sex from ‘male’ gay men or from Travestis.

Fa’afafine

Fa’afafine are the gender liminal, or third-gendered people of Samoa. A recognized and integral part of traditional Samoan culture, fa’afafine, born biologically male, embody both male and female gender traits. Their gendered behavior typically ranges from extravagantly feminine to mundanely masculine

Waria

Waria is a traditional third general role found in modern Indonesia. Additionally, the Bugis culture of Sulawesi (one of the four larger Sunda Islands of Indonesia)has been described as having three sexes (male, female and intersex) as well as five genders with distinct social roles.

Six Genders of old IsraelIn the old Kingdom of Israel (1020–931 BCE) there were six officially recognized genders:
Zachar: male
Nekeveh: female
Androgynos: both male and female
Tumtum: gender neutral/without definite gender
Aylonit: female-to-male transgender people
Saris: male-to-female transgender people (often inaccurately translated as “eunuch”)

Kathoey (often called ‘ladyboys’)Australian scholar of sexual politics in Thailand Peter Jackson’s work indicates that the term “kathoey” was used in pre-modern times to refer to intersexual people, and that the usage changed in the middle of the twentieth century to cover cross-dressing males, to create what is now a gender identity unique to Thailand. Thailand also has three identities related to female-bodied people: Tom, Dee, and heterosexual woman.
-Robert"

Good Post

Scrolling on Tumblr, finds this post. It's really good---ladies, read it!

‎”THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Reblog this!

It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…

FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

———————————————————————————————————————————-

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.


1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.



5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have a heart or compassion reblog this post.
‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.


REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
ATLEAST PEOPLES WILL KNOW WATS GOIN IN THIS WORLD.
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
I hope you all will Reblog. Lets See how many of you really care for this.

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT REBLOGGING THIS! IT COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.

Getting It Together

So it's been a long time since I've last posted. Kendall, I swear to God I'm still working on my response for our argument on feminism---but I'm like 13 blog posts behind and I want my response to be sufficient and sensitive to your post, so I'm desperately writing up as many 400 word count posts as I possibly, possibly can.

Anyway, the reason I haven't posted in a while is because I've been literally busting my butt (I have to tone down my sailor mouth blue streak now that I'm on Paperblog, hah) to finish this paper for the National Peace Essay sponsored by UNSIP. It was terrible and hard, and it got personal for a while there, but I had to do it,  not just because it was a class assignment or that it was a good scholarship opportunity (which I highly doubt will come to fruit for me, anyway haha) but because at the end there I just had to prove to myself that I could do it.

The goal of the essay was to write a paper discussing gender, war, and peacebuilding. You were supposed to take two international conflicts and examine peace treaties and agreements, and whether or not they failed, in terms of a gendered approach. It was a mess. I ended up studying five conflicts: Iraq, Rwanda, Darfur, Liberia, and Sudan/South Sudan.

I learned a lot.

It really was eye-opening, in terms of gender studies. I think learning about women and their struggles in their own cultures and circumstances really helped me re-evaluate and consider my own position as a woman. It also made me understand how important fighting for women's rights is---and how we, as a people, have one hell of a way to go.

The things women face in conflict and war are horrifying and direct. Rape is considered a strategical weapon of war, in terms of orchestrating terror along the countryside, insidiously destroying communities through the shame and fear of rape, and for ethnic cleansing. In many of these countries, female mutilation is common, making the action of rape even more painful and dangerous. And what's worse? Many women are actually blamed for getting raped. In a lot of these countries, it is simply not talked about, making the process of healing nearly impossible.

Luckily, there are women like Leymah Gbowee, a woman who led the Mass Action for peace in Liberia in 2003, a movement where women wore white and protested in a local fishmarket in the capital of Monrovia. Because of her and the other brave women's efforts, the women of Liberia helped promote peace and establish new power and respect for women in Liberia.

Not gonna lie---I cried when I read Gbowee's memoir Mighty Be Our Powers: How Sisterhood, Prayer, and Sex Changed a Nation at War.  It was that inspirational. Gbowee's strength and determination gives me hope.