"I talked to many women who were present in that meeting who expressed that they left feeling ashamed and dirty. I know that every time I passed that man on campus from that day on, I wanted to turn invisible. I'd tug my skirt down and pull my jacket over my chest, and I'd resist the urge to get sick to my stomach thinking about him masturbating to me, and it being my fault." ----Sarah MoonWhile Moon later came into terms with her body, and eventually learned to love herself, it angers, saddens, and frightens me that she had to deal with such blame at all.
Women should not be blamed for the weaknesses of men. Our bodies are ours, and nobody should have a choice or say in how we present them or how we care for them. This is a huge part of rape culture, blaming women for literally being just women. On how our bodies are not viewed a majority of men as not really ours, as objects to blamed for their own desires.
Because fuck REALLY. That guy was a grown ass man. If he watches porn, fine. If he finds that shameful and sees it as a personal problem, then that is his own problem. HE IS IN CHARGE OF HIS OWN LIFE AND BODY AND CHOICES AND BLAMING WOMEN FOR THEIRS, FOR THE NATURE OF THEIR BODIES AND GENDER WILL NOT SOLVE ANYTHING BUT INSTEAD SHAME GOOD WOMEN AND CONTRIBUTE TO RAPE CULTURE AND LEAD TO THE VICIOUS CYCLE THAT IS SEXISM.
While I've never really struggled with my weight, my boobs have always been something of an insecurity to me. I'm 34 DD and growing up I had to share bras with my mom, who was already a cup size too small by the time I was in bras. It was inadequate and hurt my boobs, but how the hell was I supposed to know bras didn't work like that? It's not exactly something we talked about, and I didn't have any other older girl friends to go to for support. My cousin had constantly made fun of me for being smaller than her when we were growing up, and that contributed to my insecurity.
Even now, they're kind of a problem. I have back pain and I can't fit into dresses or shirts that don't have enough room for my chest. I got teased for my cleavage. But as I've gotten older, and with more experience with bras, I'm much more comfortable with my chest, and I've learned to embrace it. It's still a bitch to find cute tops, but I have hope.
Sarah Moon, I'm sorry you had to go through something so hurtful. Many, if not all, women struggle with their bodies, but not all of us can say that we've been blamed to our face for the immaturity of men who perceive US to be the problems. I'm glad you've learned love your body, and yours is a story I hope we can all draw inspiration, courage, and self-acceptance from. Thank you for sharing.