I literally measure my life

In all the things that are coming out.

See, when I'm super stressed, I need some kind of motivator/incentive for getting my up and out and not giving up. I'm weak. I'm shallow. And as such, I am filled and content with weak and shallow things, such as when my material goods make their debut to the world. If that's not enough, I tell myself little motivational quips that sometimes help. This is how I convince myself to get up in the morning. Not all of them are true. A lot of them are simply paranoid. An list of thirty examples of what I say to myself in the morning.

1. You have to get up because Supernatural is coming back this Wednesday.
2. Just because you're tired is no excuse. We're all tired.
3. Your mother is screaming at you through the wall and you're afraid she'll never stop.
4. Arrested Development comes out on Netflix in Spring.
5. Robin Riopelle's debut novel comes out in spring. It's got a "sucker-punch" ending. You can't wait.
6. You have over 52 unexcused absences (Ok, I actually don't really care about that one).
7. Your problems are not real problems. And even if they were: you've already used those days up.
8. Crashing your car into the nearest intersection is not a solution. You'll miss Game of Thrones in April.
9. Nobody said it would be fair.
10. Just because you're tired is no excuse. 
11. There are so many books you need to finish.
12. Today you'll chose better. Today you'll get through.
13. Even if they all hate you, at least become something worthy to hate. 
14. You have like, twenty dollars. If you're good you can get yourself a burrito at Pancheros.
15. Imagine your brother's face if you were dead.
16. Imagine your mother's.
17. Don't imagine your father's.
18. You've spent the last 17 years accepting yourself. Why go through all that pain and misery just to throw it away?
19. Some days the good in people proves itself and you are left thanking God. Who says today can't be that kind?
20. Downtown Abbey is really great, and you really need to catch up.
21. You're not right with Jesus just yet. Don't be making any hasty decisions.
22. College. You have to get up so you can go to college. If you don't get into college, what's even the point? You'll die alone and lonely and you won't have a job. No one cares unless you have a job. Having a job is everything, it's money and credit and freedom and respect. You want to be a writer? You don't deserve to be a writer, you weakling shuddering shrimp of a thing. And if you don't do good in school, well, you can just spit on a scholarship, because that's as good as all you're worth.
23. Cut yourself off as soon as you think of the word 'college'.
24. You're pretty sure you were born with braces, but if you don't brush your teeth there's no hope in getting them off.
25. Let's face it, you're going to get up anyway, because you always do. If you don't do it now you're going to go to school ugly and it will make things ten times worse.
26. You've pretty much have given up on any hope of not dying alone: at least find a book you'd like to be buried/burned with.
27. You don't deserve anything you've ever had. Earn it.
28. You're in you're prime and you're still untouched. You still remember what they've said about your hips and chin and your brow and your mouth.  You love yourself anyway. 
29. You're laughter is an ocean and it will take your troubles in waves.
30. Nobody's ever got anything done by crying.